Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Multi-Married

One of us has been married more than once. Ok, more than twice but after that we stop counting. We've both experienced divorce. Not fun. Not recommended.

We both grew up in an era where marriage was the goal. Go to school. Meet a boy. Get married. Have babies. We were also expected to have careers. The woman's movement was in full swing. "I can bring home the the bacon ... and never forget you're a man." Feel free to sing along. Although I'm blessed with two stepchildren, we forgot to have babies.

After marrying and divorcing my childhood sweetheart, I made an idiotic decision and married someone else 15 minutes later. If you're ever in this situation, think therapy -- not remarriage. Eventually, I met, dated, and married the love of my life. Third time's a charm.

Marriage is hard work and no one prepares you for that. It's not all about hearts and flowers. It's about who's going to make a sacrifice, who's going to play the bad cop with the kids, who's going to keep the calendar, etc. The mundane details can zap any romance very quickly.

I applaud people who have never been divorced. Good for you. I know some people who should be divorced -- they are not happy people. I am not ashamed of being divorced; I'm just ashamed that I made reckless choices.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow! You summed it up pretty good. The important thing is that lessons have been learned along the way. You no longer make the same mistakes.
sR