I’ve been divorced. I don’t recommend it but sometimes it is the best solution. Some of us make wrong choices. I don’t think there’s any prize at the end of our lives for living with mistakes for 50 or so years.
One of the plus sides of divorce is getting to choose your name. I have used my birth name: first, middle and last. I have taken my husbands’ names. I have replaced my birth-given middle name with my maiden name. When Abby and I worked at the bank, I was going through a divorce and actually sent out a memo announcing that I was going back to my maiden name. I’m not sure I would do that again.
When I married my current (and last) husband, he was adamant about me taking his name. I disagreed but I did it anyway. Now, I’m glad I made that choice. I like having that in common. It’s like we’re related, but not really.
I am finally comfortable with my name. I will NEVER change it again.
Sheri has been married more than I so she has a bit more experience with the name/identity change. When I got married I sort of changed my name. I did the hyphenated Marmion-McDaniel thing which was absolutely retarded. My husband, Ty, did not care for that. He did not understand that I had a professional identity to maintain. So, I then changed my name to McDaniel -- his last name. It never sunk in with some people. One night we were at a party and someone introduced him as Ty Marmion. I thought he was going to die.
Then, he divorced me. I will never forget the minute he made his grand announcement. I immediately started answering my phone at work again as Marmion. He was stunned. I told him, “That’s what you get when you leave. Bye Bye.”
My sister has completely changed her name from Marmion to:
De Marmion. That is our family surname – which dates back to the medieval days. Yes, I am a direct descendent of Sir Robert De Marmion – he was William the Conqueror’s Champion at the Battle of Hastings in 1066. I am a descendent of the Vikings (Normans). Cool!
If I change my name again, it will be to De Marmion. Or, if I get married again, maybe my new husband will take my last name...
Yes, I have been married more than Abby but I don’t think I’m going to give Elizabeth Taylor a run for the record.