Monday, October 1, 2007

White Lies

Sheri says:

Doesn’t everyone tell some white lies? I do.

* No, your bald spot isn’t increasing.
* What gray hair?
* You look great in that.
* What a cute baby!
* No, that didn’t hurt my feelings.

Actually, I go to great lengths to avoid lying while also keeping kindness in mind. I can dance through a conversation and tango to a new topic.

Brutal honesty isn’t all is cracked up to be. I know honesty is a virtue but seriously, it has its time and place. There are only certain people in my life who have permission to be brutally honest with me. They know who they are and they’re always considerate about it.

White lies are different from big, fat, life altering lies. These might include:

No, I’m not sleeping with her/him.
No, I didn’t gamble away our savings.
I had a physical and it was fine.

The bottom line for me is this: A few white lies to save face or avoid hurting someone are ok. The big lies are never good.

Abby says:

For me, a lie is a lie and there is no such thing as a white lie. Either it is or it isn’t – that simple. That’s my black and white personality coming through.

No, I don’t like to hurt someone’s feelings, but if they ask my opinion, I am going to tell them the truth – hopefully as tactfully as possible. If I cannot, then I won’t answer.

I have told plenty of lies in my life but they were all lies – none of them “white” (or other shades thereof).


Anonymous said...

A lie is a lie. A white lie is a slippery slope.

Anonymous said...

I heard a great definition this morning. White lies protect someone else's feelings -- big lies protect yourself.

janis said...

I agree with the definition from anonymous, "white lies protect someones feelings..." I think that some people misuse what they consider a white lie, but I only tell the truth about some things to only my closest that can take it. I would never tell something to someone that would hurt them or embarass them. I don't really lie just try to find a positive about the hair cut or whatever. I also can only take the truth from those I care about. I don't want a negative opinion from someone else, but then again, I only ask for an opinion from a few select people!

m said...

I suppose "white lies" are the term we've come to use to define degrees of altered response, but I too think that a lie is a lie, in the end, and even white lies are bad news, as they can be embarrassing.